Once upon a time in the Kingdom of Delicgard, there was a knight on a quest to slay a dragon.
The knight set off by night through the haunted forest, where she came upon the big bad cheshire wolf. With a voice like oblivion the wolf purred: “Take care to watch where you go, as the watch won’t wait and the where doesn’t care so much as the wear.” Then the wolf grinned and vanished, leaving behind five magic beans.
Those magic beans spring to life, twisting their vines into tight spirals and swirls before fusing together to create burgundy bricks (that tasted like apricot). A tower grew before the knight’s eyes, rising a hundred, four hundred, nine hundred feet into the air until the roof disappeared into the clouds.
A golden goose appeared and said, “You know, what you’re looking for is at the very top of that tower.” The knight did know but she also knew she didn’t have a way to get up there. She circled the base of the tower looking for the door. But there was no door, only a magic mirror who was too busy singing a thrilling rendition of Hot Cross Buns to pay the knight any mind. All seemed lost until a mermaid princess passed by. The mermaid had no legs you see, so she carried the knight to the top of the tower.
Climbing in through the window, the knight found themselves face to face with the dragon.
With a mighty roar, the dragon charged at the knight. One! Two! The knight swung her sword at the beast but missed both times. The dragon lunged again and the knight deflected the attack as her shield transformed into billowing sheets of the finest silk. A spinning wheel hummed and whirred as three blind mice began to produce exquisite lace and fabric to wrap around the dragon’s body (though the dragon was rather careful to avoid touching the spindle.)
Trumpets sounded and the prince burst into the room, riding a unicorn and carrying a glass slipper on top of a velvet pillow. The shoe was too small for the knight’s feet and too large for the knight’s hands but it was a perfect fit for the dragon’s claws. “It’s a match!” the prince shouted, and his nose grew eight inches longer.
Then the prince (who was still here) took a bite from a poisoned apple. Quickly the knight sprinkled fairy dust on top of him, preventing the curse from taking hold. The ooze of the poison melted away to reveal a tiara covered in precious gemstones, which the dragon snatched and placed on top of its own head.
The clock struck midnight. The final petal fell from the enchanted rose, and the frog jumped over the moon.
The knight and the dragon were swallowed into the ground, falling up and down and sideways, past cauldrons and stars and teacups until finally they landed on the upper balcony of the castle ballroom. Everyone in the realm was in attendance for the royal ball, and the whole crowd gasped at their sudden appearance.
And there, in front of the entire kingdom, clad in an extravagant silk ballgown, the finest crystal shoes, and a shiny golden tiara, everyone could see that the dragon did indeed slay.